Not All, but Too Many
Amelia Palmer
This week has been a tumultuous one, to say the very least.
On Monday we celebrated International Women’s Day, where the theme was ‘choosing to challenge’ gender roles and instead focussing on celebrating women’s achievements in Technology, Innovation, Sport and Healthcare, to name but a few. However, for many women across the United Kingdom, this day of positivity was malevolently overshadowed by the disappearance of Sarah Everard. The 33 year-old went missing after leaving a friend’s house in Clapham on the 3rd March, and for many women her story has reignited feelings of fear and apprehension.
All women will remember the first time that they were assaulted, and for many, it won’t have been the last time either. For me, it was just after my 18th birthday – and instead of enjoying my first experience of a nightclub, I spent most of it in the toilets, hiding from the man who had pushed me against a wall and tried to undo my jeans, crying on the phone to my mother. The worst thing is, nearly all of the women I know have experienced something like this. ‘UN Women UK’ reported that in a survey conducted among women between the ages of 18-24, 97% of respondents said that they had been a victim of sexual harassment.
“But it’s not all men!” I hear you cry. And I do agree with you, but it is too many men. Some of us are fortunate that we have a network of incredibly supportive and protective male friends – but for the 51% of females who are raped by their partner, and the 40% who are raped by an acquaintance, no amount of apology will suffice. “Women needn’t fear men” Darren Grimes told us, with “evil being the problem”. However, evil isn’t a trait that we can illuminate in a dark alleyway, or isolate in a busy nightclub. Evil isn’t a trait that you would associate with a partner or trusted friend. So, until such time as we can differentiate good from evil, and until such time as our mothers, sisters, friends and daughters feel safe, women will continue to fear men - we have every reason to.
So, the question begs, what can be done? Something has to change for the next generation of young adults - we cannot stand by, complicit to the atrocities that happen to so many, but incarcerate so few.
One response that has been proposed this week, to my absolute disbelief – is that from Green Party Peer, Baroness Jones. The issue of sexual assault is not one that can be quelled by punishing all men, in the 6pm curfew suggested in a debate on domestic abuse legislation. We cannot reprimand all men for the actions of a few, no matter our emotional ties to the subject at hand. Feelings of anger and frustration towards the issue are understandable, rational emotional responses – but all rationality is lost when the loudest voices above the parapet are suggesting such preposterous measures.
The general response to Baroness Jones’ suggestion, quite thankfully – has been one of similar anger and frustration, with Caroline Noakes MP, Chair of the Women and Equalities Committee branding the notion as a ‘bonkers suggestion’. Unsurprisingly however, was Welsh Labour’s leader Mark Drakeford’s blunder with the press, revealing that he wouldn’t rule out drastic action if it was necessary in order to combat violence on the streets, only to backtrack 24 hours later under the pressure of the response. Yet again, it would seem – Drakeford’s Welsh Labour is out of the touch with the electorate – which hardly bodes well with the Senedd Elections only 8 weeks away.
Another significant issue, arguably the most tragic - is that Sarah Everard’s murderer is someone who we place our trust in on a daily basis, employed and devoted to securing the safety of the public from dangerous individuals. It is horrific, that we are now in an era where we have to protect ourselves from those who are meant to protect us.
Compounding this even further, is the degree to which we can – or in fact, cannot – protect ourselves. Self Defence laws in the United Kingdom are some of the most restrictive, deeming anyone ‘without lawful authority or reasonable excuse’ to be committing an offence if carrying a weapon that an officer deems to be offensive. We shouldn’t have to be teaching girls self-defence – but you don’t have to look any further than the increasing number of women taking classes in martial arts such as Krav Maga, which specifically acknowledge that women tend to be confronted by threats who have increased size, strength and power.
The other alternative, and something that I genuinely believe holds the most power at present, is a violent shake up of the Sexual Education system. Too often, our schools gloss over these issues, and parents are left to educate their children about the importance of consent, respect and repercussions of sexual harassment and abuse. Whilst having these conversations at home is intrinsic to the establishment of a principled character, the school environment will always remain the place for key cognitive and social development. Lacking these fundamental lessons, young people are entering relationships, going to University, integrating within society with an incomplete idea of what is acceptable. Approximately a third of Undergraduate students have experienced rape or sexual assault through the use of physical force, but only a fifth of victims report their assault to the police. Whatever the reasons for this are, from a fear of reprisal, not being believed, or facing the age-old excuse of ‘they were asking for it’ – we must teach victims that they are not at fault, and we must teach young adults that assault will not be tolerated.
However, no matter what we do, for the family of Sarah Everard, nothing will ever be enough. No change in the law, no review of the system can bring back the ‘bright and beautiful’ woman who’s story has touched so many hearts. We can only hope that the future holds for us a brighter place, where we can all feel safe, where threats are reprimanded, and our voices are heard.